Reckless
by Duet-chan
Summary: Duo and Heero return from a mission and Heero has to take care of an injured Duo. Bad summary I know, so you'll have to read to get a better one. ((Part two finally uploaded!!))
1. Part1

## Reckless

  
By: Duo no Tenshi   
  


_Ah, yes, another long hiatus from writing and posting fics (You can blame it on rl). Well anyway, I have quite afew in the works, including this one. So keep watching for them, if ya'd like. _

**Disclaimer**: General disclaimer here. I don't own Gundam Wing or its character. I'm poor so don't sue me, please. This story is for entertainment purposes only. 

**Note**: This is only the first part of the story. I have started the second part and will post it depending on the type of responce I get for this part. So of course C&C is appreciated. ^.^ 

**Warning**: If you've read any of my other stories you know I like to get an angst fill or sorrowful Duo in when I can and this is no exception. But don't worry too much, I like happy endings too much so this on may_ have one. _  
  
  
  
  


"Damn it, Heero. I told ya I'm fine." Duo said as the two crept into their dorm. 

"No you're not. You've probably broken your arm and you've definitely sprained your ankle." Heero scolded. "You've got to be more careful when you're on missions." 

Duo freed himself from the other boy's grasp and closed the door. 

"Hey, hey, hey. Do you want the whole school to know about our little nightly outings? And you're the one always warning me to be quiet." He added under his breath. 

"Anyway, I can't be careful. If I was I wouldn't be able to complete my missions, it's how I fight." Duo started to move, slowly, towards his bed. "Besides, my arm's not broken, maybe sprained like my ankle at most." 

Heero just stared at the braided boy. He came to the conclusion when they first met that he'd never understand him no matter how long they worked together. Duo was just unlike anyone he had ever met. 

Duo's walk to the bed was slow and determined. He was going to make it there on his own. He may have been injured, but he wasn't helpless. That was one thing he made sure of. The more independent you were in any situation the better off you were. 

Once he finally made it to his bed he dug in the nightstand for an ACE bandage. Finding what he was looking for he proceeded to wrap his ankle one handed. The attempt was pitiful at best. He first tried to hold the end of the bandage in place with his heel, but the pain from the pressure was too much. Then he tried to hold it in place with his elbow, but that came to avail either. He just wasn't going to get it himself. 

Heero watched Duo for a few minutes enjoy in the show. The site before him was pure Duo. No one else could make a simple task into such a big production. It was times like these around Duo that made him feel something deep inside he had thought he'd buried long ago. All he could do right then was let a slight smile break through. 

Deciding he had had enough of a show, Heero went over to the bed and sat across from the wounded boy. He took the bandages from his hands. Within a minute he had the ankle bandaged and went to the closet to look for another bandage for Duo's arm. He found one in a shoe box he that held similar items he felt would come in handy with Duo around. 

Duo watched his partner in amazement. He couldn't understand how "detail-conscious" Heero could remain so calm. This wasn't exactly a normal situation. 

How the Hell were they going to explain his condition to the faculty tomorrow? 

Maybe Heero was right, he should try to be a little more careful out there. Their missions just weren't worth risking because he felt like being a little recklessness. 

Heero returned to the bed and took Duo's left arm. He wrapped the arm as tightly as he could just in case he was right and the bone was broken. The last thing he wanted was Duo to be in any more pain than he had to be. 

With Duo's arm bandaged up, Heero went over to his laptop to type up the mission briefs. Their mission was successful, but the higher-ups weren't going to like the fact that there was an injury sustained from it. 

"Damn it!" 

Heero turned from the computer screen to see Duo trying to fix his hair for the night. He had managed to take out the braid, but was unable to comb his hair out because of the bandaged arm. He had thrown the comb across the room in his frustration. 

"Damn it, damn it, damn it!" Duo vented as he pounded his good fist for emphasis. "Look at me! I'm a cripple who can't even brush his own hair now." 

Heero picked up the comb and walked back over to Duo. The reports could wait a little longer, Duo needed his help right now. 

"Turn around," was all that Heero said. 

"Go away, Heero. I don't need your pity or lectures right now. I know I screwed up and that this is all my fault. Just go back to your computer and finish typing our reports." 

Heero knew Duo needed his help. He could have done as the braided "cripple" said and left him alone, but he just knew that if the American's hair were left down, he would be uncomfortable all night. And if Duo was tossing and turning that meant Heero would be kept up too. He couldn't let that happen. They both needed some sleep tonight. 

"The reports can wait. Now please turn around so I can fix your hair." 

Heero didn't give Duo time to argue. He sat down on the bed and turned Duo so that his back was facing him. With tender hands, Heero took the chestnut locks and began to comb through them. 

Duo sat on the bed stunned. Part of the shock came from the fact that Heero was taking the time to help with his hair. Keeping and taking care of long hair was a blatant act of vanity and would go against any beliefs that a soldier would hold. And yet, here was a true soldier performing this act for a "would-be" soldier. It just didn't seem right. It would have been more appropriate for him to take advantage of Duo's condition and rid him of the troublesome hair. 

Duo also felt a twinge of unease course through his body. This was the first time someone else had even touched his hair since --- 

_~ Think of me--- ~_

Heero finished combing through Duo's hair and picked up the brush off the bed. Slowly he brushed through Duo's hair from scalp to end. 

It felt nice having someone brush his hair again. Duo closed his eyes and let his mind fill with memories of those days long ago when his happiness was real and not just a mask he wore. 

In his mind he was back on the colony. He was playing in the streets with a few other orphans. They had taking a break from their hard life for a little while to be kids. Marty had just passed the ball over Jessica's head to Duo as Mary sat on the sides with a few of the other children cheering her favorite player on. Their laughter and cries helped brighten the otherwise solemn mood of the colony. Their laughter rang through the Maxwell church catching the attention of--- 

_~ Think of me fondly--- ~_

Duo tilted his head back to make it easier for Heero to brush. Having his hair brushed like this felt so good the pain he had in his injured limbs was almost forgotten. The rhythm of the brush was lulling. If this kept up any longer he would surely fall asleep on Heero's lap. Not that he cared, all he wanted was for the other boy to keep on brushing forever. It felt so nice to rely on someone else and not be the one relied on for just a little while. He could pretend he was sitting on Sister Helen's bed getting his hair ready for school as the other children teased and called from the doorway trying to make sure they wouldn't be late again because of him. There'd be some major ass kicking once they were outta sight of the church. 

_~ When we say good-bye ~_

Duo's eyes shot open with a sudden, terrifying memory filling his mind. All gone. They were all gone. Sister Helen, the other kids, all killed because of him. He was to blame for their deaths because he was reckless then too. If he had just been more careful they might have been--- 

Duo got up off the bed, hobbled towards the bathroom and locked the door behind him. He had to wash it off. He could see the guilt staining his hands red yet again and he had to get it off. Scalding water flowed from the sink as he rung his hands under the stream. He had no right to be thinking of those times. He was the one who ended them all for good. 

Because of that one action the other didn't have a chance to grow up. Jessica didn't become an actress. Marty did get to see real dinosaur bones. And poor lil' Mary, the brightest toddler at the church, didn't get to try and keep her promise to Duo to marry him when they grew up. None of it happened because of him. All their dreams died because of him. 

Heero looked towards the bathroom stunned. He barely had time to register what had happened. One moment Duo was sitting in front of him seeming to enjoy the brushing as much as he, then the next he was in the other room door bolted. What caused such a violent reaction? 

Heero got up from the bed and knocked on the door.   
  
**TBC...**   
  
  


_Well, what do you think? Wanna know what happens once that door's open? Well you're gonna have to review for that!_


	2. Part2

Reckless   
  


_**Disclaimer**: General disclaimer here. I don't own Gundam Wing or its character. I'm poor so don't sue me, please. This story is for entertainment purposes only. _

Finally, the long awaited ending to this story. Sorry it took me almost a year to get out, but that's what happens when life gets in the way. I hope you enjoy it. It can be concidered my farewell story for GW. I have more stories for other anime on the way. Of course, just like everyone, I could_ be convinced to write more. ^.~  
_  
  
  
  
  
**Part 2**   


"Duo, what's wrong?" He heard the running water and occasional sob from the other side. "Duo, c'mon. Open this door." 

"I've gotta get it off. I've gotta get it all off me. Oh God, oh my God. I'm so sorry." Duo chanted. 

Heero started to worry. This wasn't like Duo and by the sound of things on the other side it didn't seem to be good. He had to act fast. He tried the handle on more time before he began to ram the door. By the third time the door fell in. The site before him made him stop. 

Duo knelt on the toilet beside the sink. The steam in the room made it hard to see but Heero could tell his "good" hand was red and raw from rubbing and the water flowing from the faucet. Streams of tears marred the usual angelic face making him look more like a weeping saint than the happy joker he usually played. He breathed a small sigh of relief when he saw there was no sharp objects near, but what was going on? 

Heero hesitantly stepped into the bathroom. For once he had no idea how to proceed. Duo was still trying scrubbing his hands in the sink and seemed to go about it more aggressively with ever step Heero took. Heero paused, trying to think of a way to proceed that wouldn't involve Duo harming himself any further. Why was he doing this? 

"Duo, what's wrong?" Heero started, hoping that talking to the grieved pilot would help. 

"Their dead. Their blood is covering my hands. Father Maxwell, the other children, my friends… their blood is on me! I can't make it go away again. It won't go away." Duo stopped his actions briefly to look at his hands then up at Heero. "How do you make it all go away? How do you tell them you're sorry for messing up?" He pleaded in a voice barely above a whisper. 

"I don't know," was the honest answer. He had struggled with the same question himself at one time or another. "I do know that you can't bring them back. Injuring yourself won't do it and neither will lamenting on what's passed. " 

"But… but it was my fault. I killed them because I didn't think things through." Duo started rubbing his hands under the water again. "I have to do something. I can't let their blood stay on me." 

Heero slowly walked over to the sink. He took Duo's hands in his and turned off the water. Duo started to panic when the water was turned off, but Heero wouldn't let him move. He carefully looked over the hands then used a hand towel to gently dry them careful not to irritate them further or jar his bandaged arm. 

"You can't change that. What happened may have happened because of your decisions, but that choice had been made and can't be taken back. If those people you cared so much for cared as much for you, I'm sure they wouldn't want you to be sitting here like this regretting the past." 

Heero hoped this would work, he had nothing else to fall back on. If the memories of old friends had gotten him in this, maybe they could get him out too. He was doing this unprepared, but he had been trained to handle unexpected situations. 

Duo shook his head. 

"No, I deserve to suffer. I deserve all this pain. Why else would I go through this so many times? 

"Whatever I do or feel, it can't possible be anything like what they felt. They may have been forgiving—no, I know they were forgiving. But I can't seem to do it. " Duo tried to hold back some of the tears. "I try to forget, ya know. Everyday I go out there and smile, and play around, all because I though that that's what they would have wanted. I go out and I take out as many of the enemy as I can cause I feel like I'm able to do something now and not be helpless like then. But it never fails. They always come back. The memories always come back to haunt me. The feeling of being too weak comes to crush me back down." Duo looked pleadingly into Heero's eyes. "I don't want it to haunt me anymore, Heero. I don't want to hurt. I want to try and live that life they wanted me to for real, for their sakes. I know I don't deserve that pity, but…" 

Suddenly all the barriers that were put up to keep him coherent broke. Duo started to sob. He fell forward into Heero and let it all out. He mumbled incoherent phrases into Heero's chest between hitched inhales. 

Heero was shocked by the change in the smaller boy. He let go of Duo's hands and wrapped his arms slowly around the other boy. He stood there wondering if he did the right thing. Was this better than what Duo was doing before? 

"Shhhh," he said trying to soothe the distraught boy he rocked in his arms. He still hadn't accomplished what he had hoped to. 

Heero glanced around their room looking for more options. He spotted his bed near the computer and a thought came to mind. Carefully he picked up Duo and carried him to the bed. Duo seemed to panic slightly, and clung to Heero even tighter as he walked. He gently placed Duo into the bed pulling the covers up then turned back for the bathroom. 

Duo let out a slight whimper and tried to follow out of the bed as Heero left, but the other boy turned around and assured him he wasn't going far. Reaching the medicine cabinet, Heero pulled out the package of sleeping aids and filled a glass of water. These weren't exactly what he would have liked right then, but they would have to do. He couldn't help his friend right now, he needed some time. 

"Take these." Heero handed the glass and pills to Duo. "It'll help you calm down for now. Don't worry I'll be right over here. Just take the pills and sleep. I promise to do whatever I can to help you." 

Cautiously, Duo took the pills. He believe every word the other boy said. He had never heard a lie out of his mouth the whole time they had known each other. Maybe everything will be alright. Maybe this time there will be a way to stop the memories. He lay back in the bed and tried to let the pills go to work. 

Heero watched over Duo until his breathing was in the rhythmic patterns of sleep. He turned to the computer on his desk and started to work. He used all the information he as able to piece together from what Duo had said. He knew he was from the L2 colonies, he had mentioned a "father" and "sister", most likely a priest and nun looking at the boy's clothes. And finally, a large catastrophe.He entered those all in and found one event that matched. 

Heero read every account he could find on the attack of the church. How could Duo feel he was the blame for all this? No wonder he had such deep survivor's guilt. Later, when the sleeping boy felt up to it, he would have to find out everything he could about what had happened. It seem that was the only way they were going to get past the anguish and help him once and for all. But for now it was time to let him rest. Hopefully his dreams are full of the happy times before the deaths of his loved ones. 

Heero gave one more glance over at the sleeping boy, then settled in for a long night in his chair keeping vigil until the morning. 

**End**


End file.
